2021 GOING FORWARD
Anyone who knows me, will say this is me all over, I believe in the power of positive thinking. I always think if you want something badly enough you can have it, just find a way. Easier said than done I know, however, if you don’t believe it then there is no point in trying. I remember standing at a bus stop, in the rain, thinking what had my life come too. A single mum, a full time job, but no money to go on holidays, no car, no treats. A Renault Megane Coupe zoomed passed me, I want that car, how can I get that car. Within a year I had that car. I worked hard at my job, learning everything I could about the company I worked for, attended meetings, studied, and focused on my vision. It was a beautiful car, I loved it. Unfortunately, the company was eventually sold and I felt my time there had come to an end. When I handed the keys back, it was ok, there were new beginnings ahead, new visions. A year later, I was working in Saudi Arabia. I don’t give up, I’ve installed this in my daughters and friends say I am such a positive person and my daughters constantly say I am their inspiration. I love that.
I am not going to lie, since coming back from Saudi Arabia it has been a struggle. My positivity left me, I felt lost. It was like I had lost my home, my job, my partner, my friends, my income, my lifestyle … all at once. Coming home to lockdown didn’t help. All around me people were struggling, friends, family, neighbours and strangers. The news was constantly about death and hopelessness. Anxiety was all around, and yes it really did affect me. Having already experienced a frightening panic attack, I was scared this would happen again. Cutting a long story short, after speaking with a doctor I was prescribed antidepressants. Something I didn’t see coming.
I have now been on them for 3 months, coupled with some counselling, I feel me again, positive and believing anything is possible. They might not be for everyone, and counselling can be hard, but for me they have both allowed me to go forward and put some of the past behind me. Realising that I have everything I need right here.
Lockdown is over, the world is opening up again, we are starting to see the light. I have returned to my University studies, my house is in North Norfolk, a beautiful part of the country with its glorious countryside, blue flag beaches, and quaint villages. I have my own office in a converted attic, surrounded by my books, notebooks, wonderful ornaments from various countries. I have lovely neighbours, the village is gorgeous, a garden with plants, flowers and herbs. My daughters and partner and friends are no longer worried. I am back believing in the power of positive thinking.
I want you all to know this can creep up on you when you least expect it, thankfully there is a lot more help for people with anxiety and depression, mental health issues are becoming more open to talk about, I know there are a lot of people that might say, “in my day you just had to get on with it” – perhaps in those days people were most likely left to suffer on their own and be locked away. There are different pressures today, for young people and older people, we have to try to appreciate that and help each other, be kind and to keep learning about what’s out there to help those in need.
Going forward this is the first time I have written in my blog for such a long time, I feel happy, I feel inspired and I feel I want to get the message out there. At 62 I believe life is just beginning again, I am excited about writing, about North Norfolk, my daughter’s, my future with my partner, being able to see my friends again. My vision now is to be a full time writer, to have my own business and to travel again.
Watch this space.